Thank God for Our Vapid Soceity

Listen, I love most things that our pop culture has to offer.  Rachel Zoe screaming about how life picking out dresses is so stressful {the Wife and Blog household love La Zoe, FYI}, watching whom we call the Fat Bachelor choose women for their heart not their dress size despite the fact they were put on the show for just that.  And someone named Megan who has appeared on more reality shows than I have You Tube videos {shocking, right?} trying to “find love” on Megan Want a Millionaire {thank you VH1!}. 

I relish most of these shows, and programs like them, because it is a gentle reminder that the reality I inhabit has nothing to do with weekly elimination ceremonies, boom microphones in my face, or my own taped commentary on why or why not I might be falling madly in love with someone I hardly know.  I will admit, however,  that the impact of this kind of pop culture shift, from the inane to the completely bizarre has lead to a  country seemingly obsessed more and more with appearance, status and money, rather than the things that really count.  But what if your vapid obsession with your appearance could help catch your killer?

Yep, that happened.

Full disclosure:  I L-O-V-E celebrity gossip and now that the wedding is over I can bathe myself in all that people.com and Go Fug Yourself have to offer.  This morning I was saddened to hear from People that “Megan Wants a Millionare” has been cancelled.  Wah!  I loved that one!  I read on — uh oh!  Because the creepy Canadian-millionaire contestant, Ryan Jenkins,  might be a killer?!  I immediately clicked over to a more credible news source CNN involving my favorite reality show “star” and her potential lover. 

I read that yes, in fact, the Canadian would be sugar daddy to my guiltiest reality show pleasure is a “person of interest” {I LOVE that phrase, how loaded} in the case of a model being slain.  That’s not the horrifying part.  This is:

The nude body of Jenkins’ wife, former swimsuit model Jasmine Fiore, was found August 15 in a Dumpster behind an apartment complex in Buena Park, just outside Anaheim, California. CNN has not confirmed reports that the marriage was annulled.

Fiore’s teeth had been extracted and fingers removed in what police said was an apparent attempt to conceal her identity.

Law enforcement sources have told CNN that Fiore was identified through the serial numbers on her breast implants. A preliminary coroner’s report indicated that she had been strangled. source

Wait, what?  Her breast implants?  Identified her.  I audibly gasped, “really?!”  and then got to thinking.  If one is married to a potential Canadian millionaire vapid psychopath who will ultimately end up offing one in the most horrible of fashions before and or after appearing on a skeezy American “dating” reality program, breast implants seem like the safest and most reliable option out there.  Gone are the days of trying to find a respectable husband that are none of the things mentioned above.  Who would need to avoid any of the afforementioned character flaws now that law enforcement sources {apparently Canadian ones} have confirmed that breast implant identification can and will get you in the news even post mortum?

Le sigh — what shocking things have you read this morning that make you a little nautios to be {North American}?

 

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