Weird, Inbetween Place

MB has safely landed in KS to stay for his final 13 days as a student.  The next time he’s back, he’ll be defending a dissertation {that I wrote, but that’s neither here nor there}.  I’m at home, a smidge under the weather, making soup and watching movies on demand in my pajamas.  When I had to be coaxed out of the house via necessity into the cold January afternoon, I pulled away from my condo, in front of enormous suburban homes and thought to myself, when is this going to start feeling normal?

A few qualifiers.  Normal, I realize is a very relative term.  In this context, I mean when am I going to fee like, yes this is the kind of home one leaves {our condo} in the neighborhood to go to target, to come back and unload onto the street and do it all over again.  When is that going to feel like a regular part of my everyday life?  I thought for certain with MB moving in and eventually our marrying, I would soon think of routine runs to the target as completely that:  routine.  Nothing out of the ordinary – -I wouldn’t feel anything about them.

But strangely, I did and still do feel  something about the routine in our life — mainly that it’s not so routine.  That we are in fact in some sort of holding pattern until the next adventure comes our way.

And maybe that’s part of my best try to live a life where I’m in the moment, and don’t take anything for granted.  But I truly think that my inability to settle into a routine is telling that there is something on the way.  I wish I knew exactly what it was but that would probably take away from all the fun.  I do know that in the next 7 months my husband will graduate with his PhD and he will take a fun job with the federal government or a fabulous postdoctoral fellowship.  This means two very different and divergent paths for my career and our life.  Maybe me feeling out of sorts {and not in a bad way} about target is my psyche preparing me for the next big thing.

Or helping me be grateful for this little thing in the meantime.

Are you anticipating any fun new life things soon?  How does that make you feel about your current routine?

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