Hola, Mickey!

Today, MB and I are romping around the most magical place on earth!


As I mentioned earlier this week, this marks our first out of state vacation together as husband and wife.  What is more miraculous is this is the first time MB and I have ever traveled on a plane together. 

While this might not seem like a huge deal to most adults, for me, rather for us, this could really ruin our marriage.  I know you think I’m histrionic, but here’s the deal.  I’m extremely difficult to travel with. 

While this might not seem like a shocking revelation, you have to understand that this difficulty in flying with me is really multi layered.  First, being late for a flight scares me more than giving a presentation to all of my bosses and their bosses in French in the nude.  I know that is is completely irrational to be emotionally afraid to miss a flight of all things, but some of you reading this are afraid of spiders, driving in snow and germs which I find equally as ludicrous, so we’re even.  This phobia of missing my flight results in the next layer, which is the need to be SUPER early for all flights.  So for example, our flight was at 1 pm and we were leaving from airport right down the road from our condo {literally}.  We left at 11 am.  I would have preferred to leave earlier but I’m really trying to maintain my holy and civil union until Sunday.

Once we get to the airport 2-3 hours early, the neurosis does not abate.  Oh no.  It only gets worse.  Going through security gives me heart palpitations that to any sane person would indicate I’ve got something to hide.  Which I totally don’t.  I’m just irrationally afraid that everything I love {my newest issue of people, my licence} will be lost to me forever.  And what feels like completely derobing in a line of strangers while juggling my ID, boarding pass, carry on, 76 quart bags of toiletries, my laptop, and what will be my husband is enough to make me want to break down in body racking sobs.  I hate being rushed, I hate being herded, I hate crowds and I hate communists {unrelated}.  Airport security drives me bananas.

Once I’m through the security check point, I start to relax.  A little.  I love, more than anything in this world, airport terminals on the other side of security.  It’s like falling through the looking glass.  All the magazines and books and candies and waters seem so much BETTER once you’re through security.  The 400% mark up of Cinnabon, Sbarao and Chic-Fil-A get me EVERYTIME.  Things are magical for about an hour. 

Then you have to go to your gate.  This is where the scowling really begins.  I hate lugging my things onto planes.  Why can’t I pay an extra $60 for some sort of escort to carry my bags, coat, etc?  Why can’t someone else shove all the things into the overhead compartments for me and give other people mean looks when they are taking up too much room in or around my seat?  And as a side note, why are planes, that fly in the sky, home to the smallest seats EVER.  Seriously, I have bigger seats for my $3 metro ride every morning than I’m destined to have on my $100 flight to Orlando.

However, once I’m on the plane, buckled in, I completely relax.  Sometimes I even go to sleep.  I love taking off.  I love being above the clouds.  I think it’s really magical.

My main concern is that I’ve never traveled with anyone else in my adult life, let alone my husband.  I’m worried that I’ve never had anyone to unleash these unpleasantries on that I normally bottle up inside.  As I said, I hope our marriage makes it!

And if it does the reward of a 5 day Florida vaca will be so sweet!

How well do you travel?


5 thoughts on “Hola, Mickey!

  1. you must report back and let me know how this goes! Mike and I are both excellent flyers and travelers and yet somehow this all goes out the window when we are together. Everything seems an annoyance. I like the aisle, he likes the window, seems delightful if it weren’t for the darn middle seat. I like to be early (though I’m not quite as obsessed as you it seems) he would rather rush and hope they hold the plane. you get the picture.

  2. OMG I THOUGHT IT WAS NEXT WEEKEND!!!! i hope you are having an incredible time.

    i’m scared of the taking off and landing parts. even thinking about it makes my heart start racing!

  3. usually, im a decent traveler. i check in the day before so i can get the window seat on the right. i shoot to arrive 1-2 hours early to check my bag, go through security and settle myself near a window at my gate. i love watching the planes land 🙂 i have all my stuff organized in my giant purse to keep me from getting bored (or talking to my creepy plane buddy)… my last trip was kind of a fail. i was unhappy flying out (arrived just as baggage was closing for my flight; middle seat), and i was the idiot at security flying home… oh well

    i hope you are enjoying the magic kingdom. i’m sure the hubs is quite happy to have you along, bad travel and all 🙂

  4. I am SO JEALOUS! I want to go to Disneyworld so badly! I am the same as you, I have to get to the airport SO EARLY, but we unlike in one sense…I do not find flying a relaxing event at all. I spend the whole flight in a nervous panic that only a couple glasses of merlot can fix.

  5. Pingback: A Blogger Without a Computer « I Now Pronounce You Wife & Blog

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