Death and All of His Friends

This weekend I took myself to my parents’ home for our monthly visit. The highlight would be seeing my cousin’s youngest daughter perform in my high school’s musical. I arrived in the J late Friday and was relaxing with Jan when my cousin called. There was an accident. The musical had been postponed. A girl, a senior, was dead.

I was shocked in the way most people are shocked when they hear about the loss of a young life, but also deeply chilled because her accident, that occurred 6 hours prior to my arrival, happened on the very road I take every month. My home stretch.
Jan had heard about it on the news so her shock had subsided but we both decided that it was in excellent taste that the performance was canceled. The next day’s show, which we were slated to attend, was TBD. I knew in my heart that this was one case where the show absolutely could not go on.
I’m from a small part of the world and the high school was a corresponding microcosm of the planet. 10 years ago I had little respect for my teachers and less for our administrators -the same people all these years later managing the tragedy on the hill. When word came at 5:15 that the 7:30 show would go on as scheduled while a cast member would be painfully and obviously absent I raged. Nothing had changed up there I yelled to my captive family at Applebees. And what’s worse is that the so called adults left it up to the students,THE CHILDREN, to decide if they should perform! They have no capacity to understand their grief right now! But, I bucked up, ate my boneless buffalo wings and resolved that I would support my cousin and the rest of the kids. They were going to need it.
The performance was a high school musical – upbeat, young, fun and full of life. It was painful to watch at times: the girl who was killed 29 hours before was in the frequently featured dance troupe of 10 (now 9) girls. Some of her colleagues were in obvious pain. But everyone -from the leads to the tiniest 7th grader in the chorus-gave the performance of their lives. During the last number which under ordinary circumstances is emotional and exciting there was nothing on that stage but joy. I realized then that the adults had made the right choice. The children knew they could do it mostly because they had to. They had to dedicate the performance to their fallen friend but they also have begin to restore themselves. Life as they knew it- mostly tranquil and easy- had been interrupted by death. A concept so certain yet so foreign that it can rock even the most seasoned adult to their core.
Later I thought of all of my friends who have by sheer luck survived this long. The young girl was doing something mundane that she probably did often – she was off to see her boyfriend. I thought of how lucky we all are to still have each other and how relieved and grateful our families are when they get that text or phone call: I’m home.
I spent time on my way back to the great white city thanking some higher power for each moment. Especially those where I’m filled with organic joy. And as I drove past the place where an almost fellow alumnae lost her life I thanked that same higher power for the mercy and wisdom granted to those children left behind – and for the opportunity to take one more trip.

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For more info  on the accident and the amazing students of RHS please email me at wifeandblog (at) gmail (dot) com